As the great singer-songwriter, Joni Mitchell wrote and sang… “And maybe it’s the time of year…Yes, and maybe it’s the time of man…”  (Woodstock)

I’m not sure if it’s the New Year or that the past few years have been something else, but I’m thinking about what could make a real difference in my world for 2024. Not just the standard resolutions or goals lists, but real intention about what might serve the soul, serve the self, serve others, and serve the world. Peace. That’s the word that came to me. Peace. You know that saying about “NO is a sentence?”  Well, I think “peace” can be a sentence. Peace.

What does “peace” in thought, word, deed, spirit mean? How to be peaceful in this fast paced and complicated world?

What if more inner peace and more peaceful interactions with others and in the world around you could make a real difference?  Tired of all the negativity you hear and experience? Do or say something positive or calming. Experiencing lots of conflict with others? Refuse to contribute to the conflict and hold fast to contributing to understanding and compassion.

For the New Year, I offer ten tips for intentionally practicing peace within and extending peace outward.

  1. Peace is an inside job. Start by centering yourself with internal calm. Calm your body and calm your feelings. Breath slowly and deeply. You are here, now. You are okay. You are enough. Set your intention to practice internal calm and peace. See yourself as the eye of the storm and allow the chaos to swirl around you and not be in it. Imagine you are under water where it is calm and you are the stillness, while the water churns at the surface.
  2. Offer yourself compassion. Accept yourself, “flaws and all” (ahem, all hail, Beyonce) as part of being human. Connect your humanity (the vulnerabilities and strengths) to the humanity of others. We are all simply trying to make our way through this beautiful, tragic, and complicated life.
  3. Be in the present moment. Much inner distress resides in the past or in our concerns about the future. If you are reading this right now, then there is no crisis occurring for you in this moment. The potential for you to feel peace exists in this moment. You can choose to focus on what is okay, in your body, within yourself and within your immediate surroundings right now.
  4. Practice non-judgment. You don’t know someone else’s story or struggles. Chances are the person didn’t wake up this morning with a plan to ruin your day. They are just struggling to live their own life like everyone else. Other people’s choices and actions are not your business. You are your business. You control you. Start by judging yourself less critically. It’s easier to extend non-judgment outward when you start with yourself. Choose with intention where you focus your attention. Choose positive. Less criticism and judgment is more peaceful.
  5. Practice gratitude. Our brains so easily focus on the negative. It can be a great exercise in mental control to shift attention to something good and positive. Training yourself to see goodness and be grateful about things big and small can make a significant shift in how you feel. When shared, it can make a positive impact on how someone else feels. Share your gratitude and your appreciation with someone today.
  6. Spend time in nature. Nature accepts.  Nature doesn’t judge. Nature just is. There is so much potential to find beauty and peace in nature. Allow it to ground you. Allow yourself to be present to it, and to care for it.
  7. Offer a smile. Research shows moving your facial muscles into a smile is associated with improved mood. Your smile will be contagious. It will uplift you and others, if you share it.  Choose to share.
  8. Listen first. It’s an underrated skill and is most appreciated by the talker. We all want to be seen and heard with empathy and understanding. By listening you will make a huge positive contribution to someone. Help them feel felt and understood. This is truly a gift. They might just soften and be more understanding and compassionate in turn. Being a listener makes you a contributor to peace.
  9. Lower your voice, speak slowly, and monitor your tone. Your calm will be contagious and may slow down someone who is emotionally ramping up. You can be an instrument of peace with your non-verbals and your tone.
  10. Practice kindness. Monitor how you talk to yourself. Take good care of yourself. Open the door for someone who has their hands full. Leave your change for the next person at check out. Pick up a piece of garbage and put it in the trash or recycle. Think of all the creative ways that you can inject kindness into your day; for yourself, others, and the planet.

 

What impact might these ideas, put into practice consistently, have on your own heart and mind? What impact might these practices have on your relationships? What impact might offering understanding and compassion instead of judgment have on others? What impact might tolerating differences and seeing common humanity have more broadly? Think of the potential ripple effects.

Consider options to support your sense of peace and your ability to interact peacefully with others:

Consider self care practices that encourage inner peace (walks in nature, meditation, therapy).
Consider communication strategies that promote peaceful interactions (non-violent communication, empathic listening).
Consider non-adversarial options for a divorce such as mediation or collaborative divorce.
As parents, consider co-parenting coaching to keep conflicts low for your children.
Consider one step toward more peace in any area of your life and make that change consistently.

I hope you will choose to try some or all of these suggestions this year. You have the power to create more internal and radiated peace in your life. Choose to be a practitioner of peace and a catalyst of positive change. Your positive energy will spread and grow within you and through others. What a wonderful impact to make.

I wish you peace in 2024.