2020….what a year it’s been. The depth and breadth of the stress you have been shouldering is breathtaking. And it’s not easing up as we head into an election, winter months, and the holiday season. As we make our way to the final weeks of 2020, it seemed fitting to review the key skills for managing stress during these particularly challenging times.

Here’s my top ten tips for 2020 and beyond….because who am I kidding….the start of 2021 isn’t going to make all the stress magically disappear. No one promised the journey would be easy, but you can certainly help yourself out along the way with the following tips.

  1. Take care of your health. Basic habits such as sleep, nutrition, hydration and exercise are foundational to any stress management strategy. Also, avoid unhealthy habits like too much alcohol or drugs. And, of course, follow closely all CDC recommended COVID-19 guidelines.
  2. Maintain routines. Routines give structure to your day. Structure grounds us and contributes to steadiness. Wake up at a consistent time, get ready for your day, make your bed, change your clothes, have a plan for what you will do each day, keep a consistent bedtime.
  3. Practice self-soothing, relaxation, and practices that down-regulate your fight-flight response. Deep breathing, tense and release muscle groups, stretching, yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, to name a few. There are plenty of apps available to help you focus and try out these practices.
  4. Get out in nature. Being in nature, (and I do mean “being” in nature….paying attention to the grandeur, beauty, sights, sounds, smells) promotes relaxation and well being. Don’t underestimate the power of nature…Go outside and bring nature inside.
  5. Maintain social connection. Practice social distance, wear a mask, or connect virtually, but do connect. Engage the people who support you, care about you, make you laugh. Share experiences and feelings. No one around? Connect with yourself through journaling or placing your hands on your heart and breathing deeply. This action will release oxytocin, which down-regulates the stress hormone cortisol, just as if you were receiving or giving a hug! Pretty amazing, huh?
  6. Make time for enjoyable activities. Art, music, dance, board games, puzzles, reading, hobbies, crafts. Create and have fun.
  7. Focus on what is in your control. With so much that feels out of your control these days, it’s important to shift to what you can do and take effective action to make a difference in your life. For example, you can’t change coronavirus or when you will be able to get a vaccine, but you can wash your hands, wear a mask, and social distance. When you focus on problem solving, you shift your body and brain from fight-flight to the more adaptive “challenge response”. Taking action is empowering. Every small action and adaptation counts.
  8. Zoom-in and zoom-out. This practice combines mindfulness and cognitive strategies to move away from ruminating and catastrophizing.  Zooming in refers to zeroing in with laser focus on this present moment (mindfulness). Focus on all the details and your five senses as you watch a bird outside, look at a flower or leaf, or your pet or child, or a cup of coffee or tea or your meal. Marvel at the wonder and slowly take it all in. Zooming out refers to perspective taking. Consider a very long view of your life, the country, the world or planet. This period of extreme challenge is brief in the grand scheme. As Dr. Fauci has said “this pandemic will end.” The good and bad of life is such that everything wonderful and everything awful doesn’t last.
  9. Practice gratitude. In America, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to remember to be grateful. 2020 has been full of concrete and ambiguous losses, cancellations, challenges and uncertainty. It’s easy to get so focused on the negative, that we forget and take for granted all that still, in spite of everything else, is helpful, inspiring, beautiful, and going well. Dig deep, look around, think hard. Find the things, big and small, that you can appreciate. Those things are there, and you’ll feel better recognizing them.
  10. Connect to something larger than yourself. Connect to your values and find things to do that promote meaning and purpose. When you are acting in alignment with your core values you feel better. When you connect to something bigger than yourself it can help motivate you to persist and persevere. When you help others you release that oxytocin I mentioned that lowers cortisol. You matter! The world needs your contribution and no contribution is too small. When so much feels negative and hard, be the energy that is positive and makes the world better.

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”   Jane Goodall

And so, let’s wrap up 2020 with resilience. As I used to say to my kids as the soccer/baseball/football game was ending or the semester was winding down…. “finish strong.”

Though I know we are all weary, may you wrap up 2020 with a sense of just how amazingly resilient and adaptive you are! And carry with you these stress management skills, all that you have learned, and recognition of your value into 2021.

For further support, consider the help of a professional https://gabardi.com/