As we round the corner to May, Spring is in full, glorious bloom and many of us still find ourselves staying home to battle the spread of the novel coronavirus, COVID-19. What many thought might initially be a two or three week interesting experiment in working from home, home schooling, and virtual happy hours has become more than a month of being largely home-bound. As I write, experts remain uncertain about when life will return to “normal” and when and what our “new normal” will be. As we all stay home and await news of a vaccine, frustrations, worries, and the human and economic losses are staggering. Our collective patience and resilience are being tested daily. This surreal time in history demands that we collectively rise to the occasion. Four to six weeks into self quarantine, this becomes more challenging to do.
Because frustrations, fears, sadness and anger are looming large these days, I wanted to follow up my earlier blog about coping in the time of COVID-19. Some of the suggestions are worth repeating. Some suggestions and resources are new. While this is an unprecedented and challenging time, there has been good news and hopeful developments. The curve is “flattening” in some areas of the country. The medical and scientific communities are working tirelessly to develop strategies to treat people and develop a vaccine. Looking around, despite the hardship, there are so many examples of the compassion and tenacity of the human spirit .
As I talk to people about their feelings, their struggles, and what they are doing to cope, I find myself impressed with the courage, compassion, and creativity of human beings! People shopping and making masks for their neighbors, making noise in the early evening to celebrate healthcare workers and first responders, taking up meditation, knitting, painting, finding things to be grateful for, the list goes on. It reminds me to have faith and hope in the strength and ingenuity of the human spirit. While everyone’s situation is unique, we also are all having some common experiences. It is to our common stress and challenges that I offer the following tips for navigating the uncertain and trying times we live in and bringing forth your resilient, compassionate, and problem-solving nature.
- Routines are important: stick to the ones you can keep and create “new normal” routines. Structure and specific plans for your day help you cope and feel productive.
- Promote your health: Follow safe distance and other CDC guidelines to protect yourself and others from the virus. Boost your immunity with regular sleep, hydration, healthy foods/nutrition, and positive connections.
- Stay connected from a distance: Social connections are healing. Thankfully, technology makes that relatively easy. Keep in touch with those you care about and care about you, virtually.
- Practice gratitude: it shines a light in darkness and reminds us of what we have even as we are experiencing losses.
- Go outside: on your balcony, porch, yard, streets or paths. Keep your 6-10′ distance, as recommended. Nature soothes our senses and our stress. Look out your window when you are inside and look to the sky, to flowers, to trees. Listen to the birds and the wind.
- Limit negativity: in the form of complaints, gossip, and news, to name a few. Limiting exposure to the news can be especially helpful.
- Talk about it: with supportive friends, family and/or a professional. Many professionals are offering online/virtual services. Seek out those people and services that offer support and listening. Feeling sad, angry, afraid, frustrated are normal and common right now. No one available to talk when you need to talk? Write it out. Naming those feelings, sharing them, soothing them helps.
- Practice soothing strategies: breath deeply, walk, exercise, meditate, stretch, focus on your five senses, place your hand on your heart, give yourself a hug, pet your furry four-legged housemate.
- Have some fun: find outlets for your creativity. Consider a new hobby or reconnect with an old hobby. Make art. Dance. Sing. Cook. Write. Play! Consider your unique coronavirus quarantine bucket list of activities. Mix it up a little. Inserting something fun between the sleep, eat, work, eat, Netflix routine can stave off boredom.
- Lower your expectations: of yourself and others. Be patient. Practice self and other compassion. This is hard. Avoid social media and other comparison traps. This is not a competition. You do you. Recognize we are all in this together and everyone is doing their best to muddle through as best they can.
As a special note to parents at home with their children. You are stressed and your kids are stressed. And your kids may not be able to calmly discuss how they’re feeling; they may be showing you with their actions. That’s a difficult mix. Taking care of yourself will help you take care of your children. Lower your expectations of yourself and of your children. Allow more screen time; it won’t kill anyone. Breathe. Walk away, take a pause, then return. If there’s another parent at home, “tap out” and ask the other parent to take over for awhile. Allow yourself and your children to be “good enough.”
And a resource for parents to help children during COVID-19.
For parents in two-home families, children going back and forth and concerns about exposure add to the challenges of two-home parenting. I offer the following resources for guidance.
AFCC Guidelines for Parents during COVID-19
SFLAC of Oregon’s recommendations for coparenting and parenting plans
Strategies for Coparents to maintain adjustment
Most importantly, stay home, stay safe, stay healthy. We will get to the other side of this pandemic. With resiliency and grace, we just may grow through the challenges presented to us.
