We’ve reached the time of year when many of us are looking towards the holidays; possibly with excitement and anticipation, possibly with overwhelm and dread, possibly with a mixture of all of the above. The holidays often come wrapped up with so many expectations and demands, the positive meaning and possibilities become lost in the weight of obligation and pursuit of perfection.
I want to encourage you to be open to the gifts of the holiday season; and I don’t mean the wrapped ones. I am referring to the abundance of the harvest, the quiet darkness of winter, the preparation for new growth in springtime, or the hope, the light, and the peace offered by faith beliefs. How can you connect to offerings of this season that contribute to your well-being rather than run you down and disappoint? I offer this acronym to help remember what you can turn towards for more peace and joy and less stress and disappointment this holiday season.
G Gratitude: In America, Thanksgiving and Kwanzaa are holidays that celebrate the harvest and the bounty provided by mother earth. Giving thanks for the earth that produced the bounty, the hands that harvested the bounty, and the hands and loving care that went into preparing the bounty for us. It is also a great time to contemplate other things for which you can feel gratitude. In the past two years, health and scientific innovations are top of my mind. Practices that promote gratitude could include giving thanks before a meal, writing a list of things you’re grateful for before bed, or meditating on things you’re grateful for as you start your day.
I Insights: By this, I mean awareness that contributes to learning and growth. This is a gift of presence that you give to yourself. Awareness of your inner state of being, including how you are feeling and the impact you have on those around you. Awareness of one’s self shifts us from our reactive emotion brain to our thinking brain where we can be empathic and intentional. Having a mindset of learning from our experiences can promote growth. Practices that promote insight could include pausing to breathe and observe yourself when emotional or looking back on an experience and considering what you want to learn from it to move forward differently.
F Friends and Family: By friends and family, I mean those people you have chosen to be part of your innermost circle. Those with whom you feel safe, accepted, and supported. Those people are true gifts to you in your life. How can you make time to celebrate them this season? This is the gift of presence that you give to others. Our time is a precious gift. Practices that promote relationship intimacy and connection could include intentionally making time for those that matter most to you and really being present with them. Sharing what you appreciate about someone with them, sharing authentically about yourself and listening intently to others are true gifts of intimacy.
T Time: Our most precious resource is time and it is a resource that is not renewable. Time can also feel in short supply during the busy holiday season. Resist the temptation to rush through the season from one event to another and one task or chore to another. Be intentional about how you spend your time. Once the time is spent, you can’t get it back. Practices that can help you be intentional about your time include: Reflect upon your values, what matters most to you, and what is most important and meaningful to you. Spend your time in those pursuits. Slow down and savor rather than rush. Be present in those moments, don’t miss them with distractions and multi-tasking. Most importantly, take some time for yourself. Especially if you are the person that makes the holidays happen, be sure to pause here and there to rejuvenate and refill your own cup. Make time and space for joy.
S Serenity: By this, I mean peace, calm, and/or equanimity. This is a gift you give to yourself and to others. Maintaining calm and balance, especially in stressful situations is a challenge. Practicing skills to seek peace and calm benefits your internal state of being and your interpersonal relationships. Practices that promote calm could include pausing before saying anything, taking deep breaths, beginning a mediation, mindfulness, or yoga practice, prayer practices, communing with nature, and/or connecting to something larger than yourself.
What GIFTS will you give to yourself and others in the coming weeks? Wishing you peace during the winter holiday season and that you receive the gifts of these practices throughout the coming year.
