Valentine’s Day.  Wonderful opportunity to celebrate love, relationship and human connection or greeting card manufactured holiday involving overpriced roses, crowded restaurants with mediocre food, singles feeling rejected and left out, and men feeling pressured to get it “right” while fearing they’ll disappoint?  Love it or hate it, I want to use the upcoming holiday as an opportunity to get us all thinking about the power of small acts of caring, kindness, and connection in our relationships.  In our day to day lives, there are so many opportunities for connection.  We all want to feel connected and acknowledged.  The best way to get it?  Give it! You have the power to offer so much to those around you! Try an experiment.  Try offering more of the gifts below and see what happens.  Sometimes the little things can make a big difference.

  • Show Appreciation  Say thank you.  Let him or her know that you notice the helpful things they do.
  • Give Compliments  When your loved one does something well, shows qualities you appreciate or admire, or looks especially nice.
  • Listen   Without interrupting, without judging, without debating, without fixing.  Just try to imagine being in his or her shoes and how they might be feeling. Express that to them.  It feels so good to be understood and validated.
  • Touch  Sit near each other, hold hands, hug, pat a shoulder, snuggle.
  • Smile  Send a message of warmth and openness without words. The added bonus is that you will immediately look more attractive.

Sometimes these little acts of kindness and caring may seem hard to give.  Perhaps you didn’t grow up showing these forms of affection in your family.  Perhaps you’re out of practice, or currently are feeling distant from your partner. However, these low-level ways to show caring can re-build connection, spark affection, and help repair emotional injuries.  Be the one to kick-start the positive trend.  You don’t always have to feel like doing something to take the small action. The more you practice them, the easier it gets.  You lose so little by trying; and have the potential to gain so much.  No need to wait until Valentine’s Day to share your special gifts of connection.  Make these offerings a daily habit. Not only might it strengthen your relationships, it might help you feel better too.

So this month, try it…you just might like it, and so will your loved one!