It’s that time of year again where we begin to plan for the holidays.  Who will come for Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Christmas?  How will we juggle all the shopping, guests, baking, planning?  What struggles do we anticipate with family members, finances, and the coordination of various households/personalities/dietary restrictions?  How will we wrestle with our expectations, disappointments, limitations; and the social or cultural expectations to be reverent or jolly or have that perfect family experience of love and togetherness?

So much of our mental and emotional energy can be spent on the frustrations and challenges of the holiday season;  so little attention focused on peaceful reflection and heartfelt “thanksgiving”.  Perhaps we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and say Grace, or go around the table and ask everyone to say something they are thankful for; but by the time we dig into the mashed potatoes our sense of gratitude is a distant memory and we are again “chewing” on a side of complaints and annoyances along with our turkey dinner.  How can we turn this around? Why might you want to?

Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D. of University of California, Davis studies gratitude and his research points to specific benefits to our health and well being of being more consistently grateful in our daily lives.  For example, findings from Dr. Emmons’ research suggest that people who kept weekly gratitude journals exercised more regularly, had less physical symptoms, were more optimistic, more likely to make progress toward their goals, and generally felt better about their lives.  Other results found that those who more consistently practiced gratitude reported better sleep, more enthusiasm, and more energy.

WOW!  I’m convinced!  So, how can we use this compelling information as a call to action?  How can we all build more gratitude into our daily lives and daily habits.  It seems a waste to reserve such goodness for only one holiday a year.  Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of just one thing: developing a buddha brain one simple practice at a time, has the following suggestions:

  • Look around and notice!!  In your present and past, for someone you feel gratitude toward (parent, sibling, teacher, grandparent, friend, pet, neighbor).  Look also to the physical world (sky, sun, water, nature).  Look to your own life, your own health, or more broadly for the miracles of living things around you. Consider also help or support given to or received from others.
  • Really allow yourself to take in the feeling of goodness.  Accept those things you identify as adding value to your life or literally giving you life.
  • Make a point to appreciate the specific value the person or thing brings to your life. Think of the ways you are able to live and your life is made better or easier because of this person or thing.

Now that we have ways to notice and appreciate things to be grateful for in our lives, how can we consistently put this into practice?  Some people regularly find a time of day to give thanks or say prayers, like before a meal or before bed.   If that’s not your style, consider making a specific time of day (first thing in the morning or last thing before bed) or an activity (brushing teeth, eating, driving in the car) your “gratitude” time. Set a reminder on your phone or put a note on your mirror as a reminder to be thankful for something.  Or make a habit of writing in a journal specifically about those things for which you are grateful.

Notice what happens as you develop a more consistent “attitude of gratitude” and connect more with the goodness in your life.  Don’t wait for Thanksgiving day to give thanks and don’t stop when it’s over.  Let’s make every day Thanksgiving; perhaps without more turkey. Though I might take my gratitude with another slice of pie…

My wish for you this month is that the fullness you feel is not just from turkey and fixings, but from a heart full of gratitude for all of the goodness you are able to notice around you.  I am grateful you took time out of your day to read this post!

 

For more information from Dr. Emmons and Dr. Hanson, see titles below:

Gratitude Works!  Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D.

Thanks!  Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D.

just one thing: developing a buddha brain one simple practice at a time Rick Hanson, Ph.D.