Now that you are probably done purchasing markers, notebooks, glue sticks and a backpack, I’d like you to consider some other logistics as your children head back to school. The following items can help co-parents build cooperation and coordination during the school year. My hope is that the following helps both parents remain informed and involved. We know that parental involvement is good for children’s academic success and parents’ cooperation with each other and involvement with their children is good for them!
I just sent a child off to college. Believe me when I say that these precious years while your children are at home and going to school will go by quickly! Don’t waste too much time distracted by negative feelings and conflicts with your children’s other parent. Don’t deprive your children of opportunities for both of their parents to be involved and cheering them on. Enjoy these fleeting years with them!
In that spirit, I offer the following:
- Coordinate calendars regarding your children’s schedules including parenting time, activities, school events, holidays. Make use of technology to make it easier. There are plenty of apps and online calendars to choose from.
- Make sure that schools, teams, and activities have on file both parents’ email addresses and contact information. This way both parents will get all information regarding events straight from the source, eliminating missed communications by one parent to the other. No need to have one parent be gatekeeper to this information.
- Be clear which parent will be completing paperwork for the school or activity and agree on what contact information for each parent to provide and be sure both parents are included and that the information is current and up to date.
- Coordinate back to school night and parent-teacher conferences. Who will be attending? If you both are attending, coordinate a time you both can make.
- Coordinate and inform about carpools and who is responsible for pick up or drop off to and from activities or school given each parent’s parenting time. This helps avoid assumptions and miscommunication.
- Plan for coverage and clarify parenting time for all of those days of no school and holidays.
- Who will be purchasing the back to school supplies, clothes, athletic equipment, items for activities, school registration and other fees? If both parents will be doing this, coordinate who will be getting what items. Clarify your understanding of any agreements or limits regarding larger, costly items such as laptops, phones, tablets, jeans, shoes.
- Coordinate changes to routines that mark the end of summer and return to the school year. Will there now be an earlier bedtime? Will TV be allowed before school? When will electronics be going off at night? Your children’s adjustment to the transition back to school will be smoother when their main routines and expectations across both households are consistent and predictable.
I hope you will find these things to consider helpful as you work with your children’s other parent to give your children a strong foundation to start the school year. They need more than a new backback and cool new clothes. They need both Mom and Dad supporting them.
Enjoy your children. Have a peaceful school year. Make memories!