Couples Therapy & Marital Counseling

We long for connection. We fear abandonment. You yearn to be understood and cared for and yet, once in a relationship, needs unmet and the other person’s quirks and limitations can leave you hurt and resentful. With the proper care and effort, relationships can be fulfilling and personally enhancing. Investing in the relationship sooner rather than later can pay high dividends.

Services offered:

• Pre-marital counseling – helps couples learn about themselves and their relationships, clarify individual and shared values, examine roles and expectations, and strengthen connection. This service sets couples up for success and durability in their marriage.
• Couples/marital counseling – a service for married or unmarried couples to gain insight into yourself and your partner, grow understanding and connection, and learn skills to improve communication and conflict resolution.
• Discernment counseling – a focused, time limited service for couples seeking increased clarity and confidence regarding the future of the relationship (remain in or end the relationship). You will obtain greater understanding of the relationship, yourself and your partner in the process of this decision-making. Find more information at www.mncouplesonthebrink.org
• Therapeutic Separation – a planned strategy with clear boundaries and expectations of working on a relationship while transitioning to physical separation.
• Transition out of relationship peacefully – this service offers couples a safe and structured place to discuss the emotional and practical elements of separating with personal integrity and mutual respect.
• Blending Families – gain understanding and skills to navigate the unique challenges of blending families. Build a strong partnership as a foundation to bring your two families together.

Relationship issues commonly addresses include, but are not limited to: communication, connection, intimacy, sex, money, parenting, conflict resolution, roles/labor division, affairs or other betrayals of trust.

I am informed and use strategies from the Gottman Institute, the Couples Institute Developmental Model, and Emotion-Focused Therapy as well as general family systems and cognitive-behavioral therapy.

My approach is to assess strengths and encourage each individual in the relationship to work on their own contribution to the relationship…enhancing positive and changes to the negative contributions. In this way, our closest relationships become a safe place to grow as a person, change unhelpful relationship habits, and increase connection and intimacy.

What to Expect

Your first visit will last up to 60 minutes and will be an opportunity for us to get to know each other to determine if the therapeutic relationship will be a good fit for both of you. I begin with a thorough assessment, gathering a relevant history about each of you, your relationship history, and your current concerns.

Together, we will then develop a plan of treatment and a frequency for meeting. Frequency of visits will vary depending on your budget and availability as well as the complexity of your goals, severity and intensity of your distress, and your ability to cope well in between visits. At each visit I will check on any “homework” or items I suggest you work on from our last visit as well as what agenda items are on your mind for use of your time at that visit. I may also have agenda for consideration as related to your goals. Together we will then decide priorities for use of your time at that appointment.

Generally speaking, I will offer my expertise to guide you in ways to be the best partner you can be and create the relationship you want. I will support, validate and encourage each of you but not align with either of you. I will not take sides but rather help each of you in developing awareness, understanding, and skills. ·I will gently challenge you to consider new ways thinking and acting.

Often when people come to couples counseling, their pain and frustration focuses their attention upon all the ways that their partner is disappointing them. While that will be a focus of our work together, I also encourage participants to look at themselves as a powerful source of change. In agreeing to participate in couples counseling, you are agreeing to be open to learning about your contribution to what is not working in your relationship, including any past learning as it impacts current beliefs, behavior, and defenses that may be interfering with your current relationship. Your success will depend upon each person’s willingness to commit their time and talents to the process.

Periodically we will be discussing your progress toward your goals and if our time together is useful, effective, and meeting your needs. If at any time, this is not the case, you will be encouraged to talk with me about it.