Category Archives: Divorce

A Guided Meditation to Help You Cope with Divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful events and challenging times a person can experience. Life as you know it is upended, the future is unclear and that’s scary. Separating your lives is painful.

Feelings of hurt, anger, sadness can be overwhelming. It’s easy to feel lost, stuck, confused. And yet, at the same time that you are swirling in all of these emotions and upheaval, you are tasked to continue on at work and at home all while making big decisions that have implications for your life and your children’s lives for years to come.

Caught in this storm of stress and emotions, the primitive part of your brain can take over; hunkering down, avoiding, or lashing out. While this primitive response to threat is natural, it’s not going to help you calm down, meet your children’s needs, make decisions, and create a plan to move forward.

You need to be able to shift from a threat response to a challenge response. You need to be able to rise to the challenge and function at your best when life has served up its worst. You will benefit from turning a traumatic experience into a growth opportunity. One way you can do this is by focusing your intentions on thoughts that promote calm, competence, clarity of values, child-centered parenting, and resilience.

I have come to appreciate the healing benefits of a simple, yet powerful meditation practice.  How can as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day play a role in this transformation?

Consistent meditation, even for 10, 15, or 20 minutes a day can help you connect to a sense of calm and safety. It can help you shift your attention from the external world to your internal experience in the moment. In this way, you may feel more grounded and whole, rather than fragmented and confused.

As you connect to yourself, in a calm, accepting, and soothing way, you will feel more centered. As you feel more centered, you can get in touch with your true self, your goodness, your wisdom, your deepest intentions and values. As you build this calm internal space to guard against the storm that is outside and around you, you can find your highest values and best self. This is the part of you that can guide your decisions, actions, and your path forward.

This is why I have created Divorce Meditations for Healing and Growth (TM)  specific to this challenging journey in your life. I want you to have a tool to help you access the part of yourself that can rise to the challenges of this difficult time. This tool can be helpful to you whether you have never meditated before or meditate regularly.

This new guided meditation audio is designed to offer structure for soothing yourself as well as positive, centering thoughts. The goal is to build a brief but powerful tool to help you manage the stress of divorce as well as remind you of your wholeness, strengths, and highest intentions. With daily practice, these habits have the potential to build your capacity for calm, healing, and growth of the best parts of yourself in the midst of the stress and challenges that can often bring out the most primitive and negative parts of yourself. This meditation is designed so that the worst of times can bring out the best in you!

With as little as 10-15 minutes a day (or 10 minutes twice a day) you can create a meditation habit that has the potential to create changes in your brain, shifting from reactive to proactive in ways that:

  • Restore calm
  • Soothe emotions
  • Reduce reactivity
  • Promote self-compassion and understanding
  • Promote other compassion and understanding
  • Identify core values
  • Set Goals
  • Promote peace

With this simple daily practice and the selected helpful and hopeful intentions, you have a guided and grounding path forward. Start seeing and experiencing benefits in your body right away!

Don’t let this very stressful time control you! Optimize your ability to control yourself and take charge of your life.

This is your invitation out of confusion, conflict and pain towards calm, clarity, and peace. To finding your way through this challenging time and back to your core values and toward your best self.

A Hierarchy of Needs for Children Living in Two Homes : Emery’s latest contribution to understanding children and divorce

Robert Emery, Ph.D. is an important resource for understanding the impact of divorce on children and families and offering practical guidance to help families re-organize and adjust well. I have found his book The Truth About Children and Divorce and his most recent book Two Homes One Childhood: A Parenting Plan to Last a Lifetime to be excellent resources… Continue Reading

The Gift of Peace: The Five C’s of Conflict Communication

by Lisa Gabardi, Ph.D. and Karen Bonnell, ARNP, MS Conflict is an inevitable part of any significant relationship; whether with colleagues at work, with friends, and with family. And when you experience conflict, you need an effective way to manage your experience, communicate effectively, and ultimately resolve the conflict. This is especially true for co-parents… Continue Reading

8 Ways to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids After Divorce

by guest author Terry Gaspard During and after divorce, it’s important for parents to adopt a positive mindset and learn ways to foster their children’s emotional well-being and resiliency. Most children have the capacity to adjust to their parents’ divorce and deal with the changes they’ll be faced with if they have sufficient support. One… Continue Reading

Resolve to be Kind

Making resolutions is a New Year ritual for many. The start of a new year brings possibilities for a fresh start. Many people are cleaning out closets and garages, getting organized, making resolutions about their health, relationships, finances. You might be considering the ways you want to improve your life. In the spirit of new… Continue Reading

Collaborative Divorce in Portland: A Peaceful Divorce Option

Michael Dwyer, a leader and trainer in mediation and alternative dispute resolution in Portland, writes an excellent article on the history of collaborative divorce in Portland. Michael has been a key figure in offering non-adversarial divorce options to clients. He writes about the promise of the growing Collaborative Divorce movement in Portland. Michael has organized a… Continue Reading

Phoenix Rising: Emerging Stronger from the Challenges of Divorce

The myth of the phoenix bird tells the story of a beautiful bird that grew old, weak, and tired from long journeys. After living hundreds of years, the bird asked the sun to make it young and strong. The bird prepared a nest. In time the sun’s hot rays caused the bird to burst into… Continue Reading

8 Lessons My Divorce Taught Me About Parenting

Guest Author: Terry Gaspard MSW, LICSW Divorce is a life altering experience with many challenges. But it can also make you a better parent. It’s easy to see how some single parents wallow in self-pity, leaving them vulnerable to becoming a victim. Instead, seeing divorce as a catalyst for a fresh start in life will empower you and… Continue Reading

Your Brain on Divorce: Optimize Your Resilience

During my divorce, my heart would start pounding and my thoughts would race the minute I noticed an email from my attorney or my spouse in my inbox. Fear and dread were my immediate reactions. I had a similar response to texts and voicemail messages.  This is one example of the brain on divorce; easily… Continue Reading